Memes & Dreams

  • Dandelyin

Stream of Consciousness

It has been a minute since I have updated my blog here on, but I suppose it is better late than never!!!

Since the release of my EP in August, I have played numerous shows like Norwalk Now's F1rst Fr1days, The Delancey in NYC, The Acoustic in Bridgeport and some pretty cool showcases in the area. I was lucky enough to travel around and chat on the radio at WPKN in Bridgeport CT, Lassell College in Massachusetts and had the pleasure of playing and explaining the inspiration of my EP at Wesleyan University in Middletown, CT.

I am most excited to be participating in SWAN Day (Support Women Artists Now) on March 30, 2019 in New Britain with a crew of phenomenal female artists from all over the state, which include: Murderous Chanteuse, That Virginia and Norwalk's-own Riki Stevens.

I could spend a chunk of my time writing positive anecdotes (and there truly are many) about my experiences as a growing musician but there would be a lack of reality (to say the least) if I did not express the tribulations of pursuing this dream.

1. Within the past decade, the music business has changed so often that even the education I gained in college is now null in void. Social media is pretty much the only way to gain followers and listeners and to be honest, some days, I want to throw my phone in a river. The constant need to post valid content is a bit dizzying. There are days where I feel like this is a very expensive hobby, especially when nobody buys music anymore.

2. Which brings me to my next point of shining a spotlight on "supporters". Yes, I am flattered, honored and humbled that my EP has been "streamed" by many and therefore, I appreciate that I even have listeners. However, I would like to rewind to a time where people purchased vinyls, cassettes and CDs to which each song was worth under or around $1 per purchase. For example: remember buying a CD with 13 songs and the album was worth about $12.99? That's because each song was being financially spoken for and artists like The Spice Girls, Nirvana, The Rolling Stones, etc., were all then able to garner wages to support their careers, tour and continue on pursuing their passions. It's not like that anymore. So while I appreciate that my music is being streamed, the industry has magically changed to artists gaining mere fractions of cents per song. As a true singer/songwriter, some days I have to numb the thoughts of how detrimental that really is.

I think the most digging part of giving what can considered to be a GIFT of sharing your music and words, is that while every SINGLE listener is so valuable, their lack of will to financially support the artist is befuddling. Yes, you streamed my EP, but did you come out to my show? You keep telling me to keep on doing what I am doing, but to fund on-going recording time and equipment for future endeavors is limited because that support is merely spiritual. When you are independent and your parent's/spouse's/mystery investor is not something you have on hand, the support of your fans was what once powered the nothing-to-something musicians. Streaming has taken that all away.

3. Regardless, my pursuit is never-ending. I have never been competitive and perhaps my pace has been slower than most. My support system consists of artists in the same boat as I and their faith has been a driving force. I know I will never stop making music, but there may come a time where nobody will hear it. Spiritual support is so important and I thank each and every single person who has taken the time to listen. I am disappointed that there are so many artists like me that have so much to say and creatively bring to the table, but the void of being compensated for the work leaves me speechless. How did it come to this that songs, concerts, events, festivals, merchandise are FREE? Or worse, you have to PAY TO PLAY? I mean what the ACTUAL FUCK?

With that being said, to anyone who reads this, I hope you are out there supporting your artists so that they can also support those involved with their art. There are many details about the start of my music career that occurred out of sheer luck and faith from other artists. Without that, I would still be writing music alone in my room, never to have anyone listen. However, I truly want people to hear what I have to say and that's why today is the first of many blogs full of manic appreciation and bitching, as all smart and artistic women do.

I will be playing at Toad's Place in the Lilly's Pad (upstairs) THIS THURSDAY 1/17 while simultaneously releasing my music video for "Wildfire" (filmed/produced/editted by Factory Underground's Amanda Ozment/badass emmy-nominated female) . Your support means everything!

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