Memes & Dreams

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About the Songs: "Ice Cream + Memes"





"What if I don't care?

Might've been the summer air.

I know I'll survive,

But I never promised I'd thrive..."


My original song "Ice Cream + Memes" was one of the first songs I wrote while I was learning ukulele. It was written during the purgatory of my quarter-life crisis.


"I may have tripped and fell

And got caught up in your swell.

The truth is, I'm a mess,

I'd rather not have you in my dress..."


Looking back, this song was mostly about having feelings for the wrong type of person. I suppose a handful of people experience dating in their 20s similarly to how I have out-of-body watched my own story, where you meet someone in which their personality is super compatible with yours i.e. your friendship is impenetrable, you laugh at things others would not understand, you have each other's backs and you happen to each be heterosexuals of the opposite sex, yet one, or both of you are aware of the detriment that would happen if that bond led up to something beyond platonic.


"And it's like I woke up,

From a paralyzing dream,

Where I'd ruined my own life,

For a lick of your Ice Cream...."


Ironically, the first time this happened to me, where I felt this deep connection, I truly believed it was end-all-be-all love, and within that belief, my original song "My Ghost" was born. However, woe-is-me love is amazing and beautiful only when both parties feel that intensity on the same level. I lived it once. Didn't want to experience that unrequited pang again and got my adult-head back into shape when I felt I was falling the same way again.


"Yeah, you're really nice,

But the spice would cost a price.

You've got a ways to go,

To accept those feelings, you know..."


When I decided to write this, I felt as if I was enduring the same emotional rollercoaster as I did with "my ghost" and was sort of doing my best to talk myself out of putting myself through that. In fact, I had a very interesting conversation this week with my best friend and bad-ass producer Amanda Ozment about having out-of-body experiences while you are doing something dumb. Honestly, I remembered losing touch with "my ghost" and the last form of communicating was through memes, which I also feel is an interesting insight into our current day. Having the luxury of losing contact not FULLY, but being able to pin point that there is still a morsel of missing someone by dangling yourselves on the last thread of contact. Thirty years ago, you either got a letter or you did not.


"And by the time you wake up,

You'll remember it like a dream,

We'll be living different lives,

Just communicating through memes..."


To be honest, I would say "Girls Like Me" and "Memes" definitely co-mingle the same themes. I think these both were warnings to myself, like personal fairytales, to remind me that I sewed this pattern once, and almost twice. I am glad I caught myself. It has taken some time to rebuild, and that's not to say, I have not unintentionally created more drama for myself, because all I can do is keep going.


"I know it all too well.

Love's a game

and love is Hell,

I see a bit of me

in you

And you're scared to face

The truth..."


My advice: being empathetic to the sad lives of narcissists is great for songwriting, but not so great for the soul. I count my lucky stars that I am able to filter it.


"The truth is

I'm a mess,

I'd rather not have you in my dress..."



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