Memes & Dreams

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About the Songs: "Girls Like Me"





"Girls like me

make it easy

to live and long for the past.

Backwards

when you leaned in

but never went in for the grasp..."



I cannot recall the day that I wrote this song but I am pretty sure it was in early 2016. I originally wrote it with a few chords on acoustic guitar and had no idea what direction or style I wanted to push this tune in. At the time, I was sort of reflecting on missing the opportunity of telling "My Ghost" how I had felt for so many years and began to over-explain (as one does) the repercussions of being a bit of a coward to myself. Really uplifting shit, you know?


"Maybe we're left

wondering for a reason

Maybe we're left

wandering for some decent

loving

'coz when

the one you want

gets away

you look for valid reasons to wait..."


I spent a lot of time wondering and playing around with 'what-ifs' while I was in relationships with other people. Which I can safely say is something I never planned on participating in. I am a firm believer in being happy with the one you are with. Sometimes even the good ones get twisted and manipulated by expectations and memories.


"Girls like me

take it easy

balancing the 'what-if''s

of our last

Forward

conversation

clearing up your throat

of all the rasp..."


There are only a handful of people within my friendship circle that know in-depth details of how this panned out for me. Some were there from the start. Others experienced anecdotes and stories from the beginning and others saw the end result and disaster. We all agree that something positive came from such a negative muse. I suppose it is all part of a story still being written.


"Maybe we're left

wondering for a reason

Maybe we're left

thundering 'coz the season

Left us

to forget us..."


This second chorus above sort of highlights how I definitely recognized that perhaps there was a time for this person and I to have flourished but it was gone. Both of us hung on for many years (as friends) for reasons we figured out were sort of null-in-void. What a wonder it is that we grow/change but still stick to the memories of a connection was felt so deeply for.


"All the wasted minutes

somehow constantly replay

Ever more to wonder

what could have been done differently..."


I rarely bring up these memories anymore because I moved past and survived my own purgatory of falling for something that was not meant to happen. I am not sure if it was a mistake to have a few songs on this EP about a person who became a ghost, but I suppose we let things haunt us on our own accord. I choose to look at it as a reminder that unfinished business is not worth harping on for this long.


Do I dislike having to listen and sing these songs?


Yes and No.


Yes, because it brings me back to feeling a bit weak in the knees about something not worth losing balance over.


No, because I made some art out of a heartache worth noting. I hope others can relate.


"Guys like you

are never easy

Come and go

I'd hoped you were my last

Right now

like clock-work

a clone of who I loved in you

is back..."


I never got to the irony of this entire 7-year experience.


Just when I thought I had moved on to a different relationship in my mid-20s, someone else came into my life that reminded me so much of "my ghost". The universe sent this soul into my life for so many reasons.


At first, it was cruel to have to be employed alongside someone who brought this ghost back into my realm of thinking. Their mannerisms, the cadence of their laughter, the way they carried themselves, a selfish streak in which they felt constant guilt, and the face they made when they played guitar. There lies a personality traits that I suppose only I would be able to connect (blessed?). I think this person came into my life to teach me that I should not fall for people like this. The first one taught me that I will get hurt.


However, this second-coming of the ghost was a new opportunity. I have only benefitted from this friendship and sort of made a little brother out of this soul. I would not trade or fuck up the closeness for anything at this point. If anything, he's become sort of a silver lining on a dark time, and for that, I am lucky.


"Maybe I'm left

wondering for a reason

Maybe you're left

squandering for your keys

and I sweat you

but I wanna forget you

Yeah

I wanna forget you...."


Funny Fact: The second-coming of "my ghost" was the person who told me that I misused "squandering" in this song. He is totally right. I am aware. When I was writing it, I just did not want to repeat "wandering" or "wondering" so I chose to keep it. More out of comedy, less out of need for proper English. Usually, I would choose proper grammar and word-usage over what is pleasing to mine ear, but it is what it is and it remains a little bit of a LOLlerskate to this day.

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